Sunday, August 19, 2007

I have been hurt till i'm immune to anything.

How badly do you hate me? What have i done for you to despise me?

I called you out and if you told me that you didn't wanna go... then so be it...i wud find someone else

But no... you wait to tell me when i have left my hse at the very last minute. Whom can i call?
I was asked to do important errands. Errands that cud only be done in the place we were supposed to go. And i was given it because i was supposed to go there.

You know how i hate plans not turning out well? I utterly despise it. I get pissed. I get moody. You know that right? And there you were saying that you dowan to go. Reason? You just dowan too.

It's not asking for much but if i made plans with you and you suddenly tell me your not gonna be in the plan ...means it's ruined. If you told me earlier i woulda found a replacement. Knowing how much u dislike me now it wouldn't be suprised if u said no. But you had to say yes and disappoint me later.

I knew i had no hope long ago..It was just hard to let go. It doesn't mean i was hoping to get back with you again? I just wanted to be a fren. No longer a close friend as u say i demand too much. Now even as a friend. You could easily ask me to "Fuck Off". Yes. I took it too heart. Why? If i did something bad i would deserve it. But i don't. You had to add there and then that you don't wanna hang out with me tonight. I was so "pleased".

Even if you weren't my ex, I would have felt pissed and f'ed the fella up cuz it's damn shit up to ffk ppl last minute. I've hinted twice that i would really appreciate it if you came along and had dinner, and hung out with me by coming into your house and waited to bath and calling you after that. After all, it was my last night hangin out on a sunday. But no matter what, you just wouldn't bother.

I think you hate me. It's that obvious. I did not backstab u or two time you or nything. We ended it on a friendly basis. Yet you have grown to hate me. Why? i dunno. The f-ed up thing is that after all i've done for you, all we've gone thru. It seems as if it was nothing to you. How cold can you get? I have always put you before myself. It was you you you. If you were happy then i am. And i probably still do.But you've seem to let go of everything so easily. I dun even see a small memory of us living in your eye. I guess you have never appreciated the things i've done for you. And you probably never will.

You never listen. You'd probably think this is an offense(if you ever read my blog) to you but its not. If i cant talk things out with you. How am i gonna let go? Only by this. You never understand things i wanna tell you. You always think i am merely scolding you. But i have always thought that talking things out is the best solution but every time i try. You hang up and ignore me.

I love you. I still do. Thing is i don't know why. I actually thought i meant something to you. But now i have second thoughts. Have you ever loved me? Was i ever something to you? Or was i just a plaything? I fell so deeply for you. Believing that you have changed. That you were the one. I guess its safe to say you never loved me. Maybe it was all just infatuation.

Now not only have i nothing to eat but i had to go to one u to do the errands and waste my last day to go out sitting infront of the pc doing this. If only you've learned to say sorry then everything would sit on a different note. But you were never wrong for i have always gave in to you. Silly me..

4 Comments:

Blogger Anna burped out...

trust me.. she reads your blog. Dont feel so bad la.. You're going to make me feel so irritated about guys.. One of them thinks i led him on *snorts*, even though i told him i dont wanna be involved. Guys have selective hearing no?

10:15 am  
Blogger chickenluck burped out...

lolz... she does?? anyways...this is just to express my feelings...:P....i dun have listeners out there...no one to turn to...so...:P....have to type out lo...thats wats blogs are for ma....is your example some kind of cryptic meaning??

10:41 am  
Blogger ge burped out...

hey, i read your blog too! :)
thank you for sharing... and hey, i'm known to be a good listener -- at least ppl tell me lah. so, feel free to call / we can meet up and you can emo away and i'll just listen :)
you have my number...

1:04 pm  
Blogger chickenluck burped out...

lolz....thankz guatz

1:58 pm  
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